Frustrated Mom Tonight.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Tonight I just got Addie to bed and so alone I feel. Not that other mothers don't feel the same way at anything that just brings you to feeling like there is no end to this one episode of many to come. And as I was getting ready to lose it-cry, scream at the sky, call Dale who's no where to be found (yes, I did try to call him) because everyone is asleep right now. I had to remind myself that I asked for her-frustration and all. I, on my own accord, no gun to my head, no husband threatening to leave me, nothing of the sort, just me praying every day for her to enter my world.

And my childhood memory verse kept coming to mind. Think of the lovely things, things that bring good report. And as I held my overly hyper child, who was frustrated herself, due to her tiredness that reacts like a hyper pill to her, I was able to get a grip on things. All alone, no hubby, no one to call forced me to call on the Gift Giver to bring another gift to me-peace, tranquility, thankfulness, joy, good happy thoughts that are beyond the Captain Hook version of Happy thoughts.

I am thankful for these moments as these are actually more simple than the ones to come in her teenage years, so I thank Him for her crying for she's here in my arms. I thank Him for the frustration because when she's finally asleep I can gaze down into her crib and know that she is mine. And I thank Him for the smile that will greet me as a new day starts clean and fresh and all is forgotten about tonight except for the lack of my physical weakness-lack of sleep.

I was frustrated and now I am thankful.

Alyssa's Birthday Bash

Addie, Gammy and myself went out to Redlands to take Alyssa out for her 13th birthday. We had a great time as we took her to some little Thai place there on Orange. Addie slept through the entire dinner, but at least she made the effort to celebrate. We all shared food and had great conversation and lots of laughs. We then went shopping and brought her back home to do homework and prepare for school the next day.

Before we went to celebrate Addie had some bonding moments with her cousin Daisy. So sweet they both are.

Texas 2008

Dale and I decided at the last minute to go to Texas to see my best friend Lisa and her parents, who we call Grandpa & Grandma Gomez. It was Addie's first trip out of state and on a plane at 7 months of age. She was comical to say the least. She was very calm until she saw all the buttons, gadgets, window, people and then away she went. Thank God the ride was only 1 hours and 45 minutes long. She definitely is a bundle of energy. I truly think she belongs to my brother more than me as she displays strong characteristics of him-friendly, outgoing, wanting attention, getting attention, being silly, and always trying to break out of something.

When we landed she right away was at home with Auntie Lisa. We went somewhere just about everyday. We went to New Mexico for lunch, went up on a tram to see the entire city, drove to the star that sits on the hillside since the war began, visited her church, and waiting with anticipation for her grandparents to arrive.

She started displaying her crawling skills or lack of, but she can move somehow, it just doesn't look like crawling. She loved playing with Max & Jakey the Gomez dogs. This was one of the times we saw her just laugh hysterically as they played with Dale all sorts of games dogs enjoy.

When her grandparents arrived, she just loved being in their arms and getting all that love, it was a hard departure. It was worth every penny we put into that trip to be with them.

Thanks Gomez Family for opening your doors to us and sending us away with blessings!

Gabriel's B-day & Time with Nana

Addison had the time of her life at Gabriel's 1st birthday. She enjoyed going arm to arm and being doted on by people who truly love her. Aunt Martie, Jill, Nana, Chela are just the few I remember seeing hold her and carry her around to be introduced to everyone.

The most precious part of the entire day was when Addie was telling nana to hold her. Dale has been trying for a while to get her to show who she wants to go to and in one brief moment, Addie reached out her arms, and vocalized her desire to be in Nana's arms. The downside, yes the downside, is that Nana can't depend on her own strength any more, so she couldn't reach out to her to hold her. But where there's a will there is a way, so Addie leaned on Nana's back and then I had Addie sit on the table and Nana move closer so they could lean on each other. And for what seemed like a moment stolen in time, I watched the most precious site. A great grandmother and her 19th great grandchild interact.

Nana lined up all the candies that the kids had won from the pinata or as Lorraine says, "pinada", and had Addie pick them up, shake them, throw them on the table and floor and play until everyone packed up to leave. Addie touched her face so gently, which she doesn't do for us, but somewhere in her little heart she knew to touch Nana with extra gentleness. And oh the tears that filled my eyes when Nana said she was so thankful to the Lord that she got to live long enough to see this little miracle come to pass. How small I feel. How humbled I am that God would choose me to wait so long to see how it touches each person so differently that my joy did come in the morning of January 25th when I first laid my eyes on her.

To rejoice at the gift of Gabriel achieving so much in his first year and the gift that came five months later. What a beautiful day!

Addie's Sick

It's amazing that our children are more resilient that their parents when they are ill. I've been frustrated for three long days thinking we were going through a spell of her being spoiled and wanting to be held 24/7 and then some. When finally today, her fever emerged and everything began to make sense. But in the interim of all that went on, I think my heart ached much more than her strong body versus my weak heart. Emotions I never felt fun through this cold blood I carry were so foreign that I didn't get all teary-eyed and sappy, I just became snappy, difficult, ready to fight the world instead of succumbing to tears that my child was ill. And to think of the many more that will come my way-long nights, long days, arms ready to fall apart and that's not even counting her first time her little heart will hurt. Oh, I dread and look forward to those days knowing I can not do it without Him and my hubby. Thank goodness He is stronger than little 'ol me.

Baby Dedication

"Suffer the little children to come unto Me and forbid them not; for of such is the Kingdom of God."




On Sunday, July 13th, 2008 Dale and I were honored to dedicate Addison back to Him. I must have cried through the whole worship part of the service as we waited so long for this day. It probably doesn't mean a lot to other people, but as a child and seeing the picture of me being dedicated by my parents and seeing child after child be presented to Him and even my brother's children. I thought it was a honor just to see Daisy & Alyssa at their church and then Zander on my father's 60th birthday party. So we are extremely honored to do this today.

Attendees:

• Mom
• Pepa & Mema
• Nana
• Lisa all the way from Texas
• Uncle Sam & Aunt Lily
  
• Roger & Aunt Martie
• Uncle David & Dickie
• Ruth & Kathy
• Andy, Brenda, Elisha & Emma (Only3 days older than Addie)
  
• Franco & Melissa
• Buddy, Christina, Andrew, & Matthew
• Ryan & Anthony
• Norma
• Luis, Julie & Isabella
  
• Eloisa, Alyssa & Evan
• Josette, Reagan &
  
• Chuck, Kim & Gillian
  

Joined us later at the celebration:

• Uncle Joe, Auntie T, Daisy, Alyssa & Zander
• Uncle Paul
  
• Holley Montoya
• Kenny & Wilma Lee Okano
  

The First Sound of Laughter

We, Addie, my mom & myself, visited cousin Augie & Cece Rameriz today and had a great time. We got treated like royalty as they took us to a nice little Italian place in Whittier and then just visited with us at their beautiful house. And if anyone knows Augie, he's a character full of life, stories, and just knows how to make people laugh. I truly can't remember the exact thing we were laughing about, but all of a sudden little Addie laughed with all of us. It was the first sound of laughter that we've been waiting for as her usual laugh was a gummy smile and no sound.

What a great day to see her laugh so sweetly.

The Aunt Dot-ee Visit

This is a lovely picture of my Aunt Dot-ee and Dickie.

While Dale was sleeping we ventured out to Laguna to spend the day with Aunt D. She treated us to lunch at the Fish Market (not sure if I got the right restaurant down) and surprised me by telling me this was for Mother's Day. How sweet is that?

Addie could not keep her eyes of her. I believe bling, sparkle, and jewels may be something that attracts her. Addie was so excited with the day that she did not want to take a single nap for fear that she would miss out on something. Imagine her older being this way as she's only a few days from being four months old.

Aunt D, was the best hostess as she lavished my doll with love and special attention. What a blessing to be close with your aunt.

Nana, Uncle Ham, Aunt Martie & Roger Visit

Here is Addie's Great Grandmother as Addie is the last of the great grandchildren until Ben & Celine start their family.

Addie and I visited them for a few hours after a Dr. visit. Uncle Sam met us their at Aunt Martie's house and spent a good portion of time with all of us. That means a lot considering he's a very busy retired man who's time is valuable.

We had good laughs, good food, and enjoyed each other's company. What a blessing it is to have my grandmother around who can recant stories of my father and tie them with me and my child. And to know that she never stopped praying for Addie to arrive nor has she stopped praying for all her children, grandchildren and great grand children.

It was a great day to see Addie socialize with this side of the family.

Mother's Day-the first of many

I can not even express what Addie has done in my life. What a gift from God! To be called a mom, to not feel quite like one and yet know the responsibility that lies ahead. As I look at women who are already mothers, I see them differently now with more admiration.

I see my beautiful nieces and nephew and how wonderful they've turned out and hope that I can do the same with her. I hope she will love her family, be respectful, courteous and polite and not judge others by their color or status.

So this Mother's Day is overwhelming not only with the people who remembered me this day but with the barrage of things to come to pass on to my child to create a wonderful adult who gives back with love and not of what she will receive.

I am glad to be called mom, mommy, mother, mama, ma, or whatever she can pronounce as the name will change with her vocabulary. I love the new title I have acquired-mom.

First time with Uncle Joe & Auntie Tina

Today is Monday, April 21st and mommy has to meet a client out by Uncle Joe & Auntie Tina's(our favorite aunt), neck of the woods. They have done such a huge favor by watching you as you are only 12 weeks old and all that comes with it. But when you talk to your Aunt, it's as if we have done a huge favor for her by letting you have special alone time with her and all your cousins who love you so much.

I can't even express how amazing it is to see you loved so much by this side of the family. I don't even step in their way if they want to hold you, feed you, change you, talk to you or express any sort of love. I sit in the corner talking to everyone, but watching as if I'm looking from the outside of the window as your auntie dotes on you with all sorts of different expressions of love. And I'm touched when I see your Uncle Joe, bend over and kiss you softly on your forehead as you are held by your aunt and Alyssa is begging to hold you longer. And then Zander offers to feed you and I'm touched that a 10 year old boy full of life and lots of energy would stop to have a special moment with you. Then there's Daisy, your oldest cousin who comes in from a busy day of school and wherever her dad picked her up from, stops to give you so much of her precious time. She talks to you and tells you the silliest joke ever...something about two snowmen and carrots on their nose and smelling something. I laugh because your cousin talks to you like she's talking to her girlfriend that's her age as we explain that babies need to hear Disneyland sounding voices to make them feel all warm and cozy. But the cutest thing out of that conversation you two have is that you are mesmerized by her. You just gaze at her with those adoring eyes as she showers you with compliments that mother's lock up in her heart. I wish I could write about the two hours they spent with you while I was gone.

My favorite part was when your cousin Alyssa wanted to feed you, hold you and not give you up to her mommy to help ease the gas from your belly. She lifted you up almost giving you up to her and then she quickly recoiled and brought you close to her chest as she bent her face down close to your face and said she just didn't want to let you go. She finally did give you to your Auntie and then your little burst of fussiness was quickly changed to a calm lulling and heavy eyes as she prepared you for the long ride home.

Blissful tastes of heaven is what I call being a mother. I thought I was in heaven when I had your cousins over and so heavy was my heart each time they left me in my quiet house. They were the joy and noise that filled my house with laughter. And now I have you to hear your giggles and noise fill up my house. I am blessed to be both Auntie and mommy.

I found my hand

It's Friday, April 18th, and Addie has found her fist. We heard tons of slurping going on in her car seat and found her with an entire fist inside her mouth. She has officially found pleasure beyond her pacifier and has also found that she has the coordination to bring her hand to her mouth on purpose.

Smiles from Heaven

I can't believe she's finally in Newborn clothes and with that comes a blossoming personality. She follows us around the house with her eyes, she wants her alone time on the floor to explore her fingers and toes, she wants to hold hands when she eats, her stare is studying everything you do and say, but the thing that intrigues me the most is her smile. The smile that starts in her eyes and wiggles it's way down to the corner of her mouth and ends with arms and legs flying all over the place. It's the beginning of a coo that merges into an almost giggle that grabs my heart and tugs in all those places of your being that you had no idea that it existed. I am moved by those moments I have with her as we talk (mostly me) and she responds with those gum filled smiles that light up my room and my heart. She gives me glimpses of heaven with those smiles and I am content at what He has graced me with.

Dreaded Shots

I'm not that emotional of a person, but when it was time to give Addie her shots for her 2 month check up...I was a train wreck! I was not prepared for the flood of emotions to hit as they did and for Niagara Falls to hit Brea's clinic. When she pulled out the needles that are longer than the widest part of her leg, pulled the alcohol wipes out, and had 3 band aides waiting for their job to be fulfilled the beat of my heart began to escalate. I told Dale that he was going to handle this one and he was stoic as he held her little hands and talked to her as the nurse placed the first shot on her little bitty thigh. Addie reacted instantly turning bright red like the tomatoes they sell on the vine, screaming with mouth gaping wide open and no sound coming out because her little breath had been taken away from her, and eyes closed tight as you could see her little eye lashes fill with the tears before the ran down her checks. And me watching and feeling lead in my feet, sweat in my hands, and that feeling of nausea that takes over you and finally the explosion of tears running down my face while I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with me.

Every mother has to endure her child getting vaccinated, every mother hurts for her child but why am I so emotional and hurt for her and then it clicks how God must ache for us when we go through such things that hurt for a second when he knows how wonderful our reward is waiting for us. And then my focus is that in a moment my darling will be in my arms as I dote on her and reassure her that mommy is here to wipe the tears from her eyes and whisper softly in her ear that everything will be all right. It was just a moment of pain and now I will shower her with love.

Tuesday Feb. 7th, 2008

Our first adventures out in public are hysterical now, but weren't when it happened. We all went to my Dr. visit and since it was early, we decided it might be safe enough to take Addie to Baby's R Us and get some new bottles and some formula to get her to the 5 lb mark. So after our little run to the store, we went to Juanita's a little joint famous for their burritos and have been in the area for eons and realized we should probably feed Addie as well. So we headed to Mema Melton's to feed the family when we realized we had officially become world's dumbest parents. When we went to change her we realized that we had inadvertently forgot wipes, which we most desperately needed at this moment and opted to use a wet wash cloth. Thank goodness we were with family during this time.

Later in the evening we had to pick up something from FedEx and thought it might be an opportune time to eat Sushi after 8 long months of not eating our favorite food. We went to our beloved Sushi place where the owners treat us like royalty-Chies in Ontario. We arrived ready to show off our little one to the family and got nestled at the bar (yes, Addie was sitting right with us at the Sushi Bar) and we began to order as our mouths were salivating for some long deserved Sushi and Sashimi. That's right about when Ms. Addie went into a frightening rage for food and her diaper to be changed. We handled the diaper change and confidently moved into the feeding when we realized that two heads are not better than one. We most definitely needed a third or maybe a fourth head to remind us of what we needed for this small adventure that was quickly lived. We had a bottle, a bib, a burp cloth and no formula! How idiotic are we? Apparently, we win the prize on this particular day and are proud owners of a certificate that hangs above our head like the Orbitz commercials where they have the halo of events of the flight, hotel & car circulating around their head. That is pretty much what our certificate looks like except it's the words "Worlds Greatest Idiotic Parents" that circulates in halo fashion around our heads.

That's not the end of our story because now it's Thursday and Dale is putting the stroller away and I don't know what possessed me to watch him put it away, but that's when I realized that there was a huge case of Enfamil in the trunk of the car that was there the night of our feeding Addison fiasco. Oh my gosh, when you panic everything goes down hill fast including all your brain cells!

Just thought we'd share our funny story of being new parents and having to care for little Addie.

Addison Came With a Bang

On Monday, January 21st, we had one of many teasers that Addison may be on her way before her actual due date of February 22, 2008. We had our actual Dr's appointment to check how we both were doing, when they realized I had encountered a high blood pressure problem for the first time. The main problem had always been my sugar levels, but with the insulin and the strict diet we thought we had it under raps. As it turns out, my blood pressure was through the roof for my normal numbers and the protein in my urine was extremely beyond normal levels, which meant we were in for a rough ride. I had been trying to adhere to the strict guidelines of only getting out of bed to use the facilities and let others take care of me, but in today's society thats a hard thing to order-help! So from her office, we were quickly admitted to triage for Labor and Delivery as they monitored me and her for over 5 hours. Poor daddy as he sat there in those uncomfortable chairs with no snacks, even though I told him to carry those snacks Joe and Tina had purchased for him. At least he had his book to contend with to keep him calm from worry. They finally let us go home with strict guidelines to go straight home and into bed to lay on my left side.

My woman's intuition (God's still small voice is what it should be called) kicked in and I told Dale to go to Island's in Chino Hills to feed us and from there I could get to Motherhood to purchase needed items I'd put off for February. After a nice Tuna Sandwich, we went to purchase some prego pj's, nursing bras, and a robe. From there I told him if they keep me on Wednesday, which is when I was supposed to go back, and they induce labor, she would need a preemie outfit, so we went to Carter's and daddy bought her first preemie outfit.

With due diligence, I stayed in bed! OK, those of you who know me well, Dale monitored my every move and made me stay in bed until my left hip felt as if it would fall off. The next day, we went back to Triage to get monitored again and after about 3 hours, we knew we were not going anywhere. It was a mixture of overwhelming confusion and relief for all we had been through in the last 8 months of pregnancy.

During our hospital stay, they had to administer Magnesium Sulfate to keep me from going into seizures during the delivery, which was just atrocious. It makes you feel hot, groggy, and like you're coming out of your skin. I can't explain how horrible you feel, but know that I wouldn't want that again in my near future. You're not allowed to eat with that stuff in your blood system as they do not want you to lose your meals, nor do they want you to have ice or water. How fun is that when you're thirsty and sweating up a storm? They then start to get all your vital signs in the normal ranges, so that from there they can administer Pitocin and place a bulb in the cervix to get it dilated to induce the labor. Well, after the labor pains start to increase I opted for the Epidural (light version, since it would be another 10 to 20 hours to have her naturally), which was a nice break being that I was only 1 centimeter for a few hours. They then checked on the bulb to see if I had increased to 4 centimeters and all seemed good until we heard the gushing sound of water break! She then checked to see how far the cervix had increased when she realized that Addie's umbilical cord had come with the gush, so she held Addie up to not pinch the cord (Oxygen supply for her) and called a Code Crash C.

Instantly everything went from slow to 120 in 60 seconds and out of nowhere the whole team appeared, unlocked my bed, grabbed the Ivy, unhooked this and that and wheeled me from one room to the surgery room. Since my epidural was a light one, they had to knock me out under general anesthesia. And yes, for the first time in my life I was scared. Normally, I say God take me if it's my time, but this time, all I could think about was Addie needs her mommy to stick around. Yes, those thoughts did come to plague my mind only because I do not do well when under medication. I went in and Addie came out in less than 10 minutes!

Addie, my precious Addie, God was holding her hand, sustaining her lungs, and gave her strength of a full term baby. She only visited the ICU and never had to stay. She got to have her first shot, bath, be held by those wonderful arms of daddy, had the paparazzi taking picture after picture, got to be monitored by all the lovely equipment of Kaiser, and once again got to be loved by daddy while mommy was somewhere in La La Land. Another miracle for the Melton family, that a 4 lb 9 oz child would come out with wonderful healthy lungs, able to suck on her own and not have to stay in ICU. She got to move on with the other big babies of normal weight and birth were held-the nursery! To have her placed in our home and have such a bang in coming out and then be so healthy, you have to agree that Someone was watching over this household!

As for me, 4.5 hours later and them debating to put me in ICU or let me go to a regular room they finally let Dale have me. And no, I did not get to see my little one that night. I did see lots of cameras in my face telling me what she looks like, but it all seems like a blur now when you're still sedated by Lord knows what. As it is I vaguely remember those who were present, Dale, my mom, Auntie Tina, Uncle Paul & Aunt Dawn, Auntie Norma and I heard that Dale's Uncle Paul & Aunt Ruth and Mema Melton were there too. And yes, I had my own miracle, as they say I had much difficulty coming out and then all the other complications they had to deal with me as I will never forget what happened behind closed doors, but at the same time do not want to recant those moments as they were nightmares! But to see those nightmares replaced by my hubby's smile and her being placed in my arms with just us three alone in the morning. I can barely gasp for air and keep these eyes dry as I felt the warmth of her little body placed on me and Dale kissing me so tenderly showering me with accolades that only a husband, a new father could give his love. Oh, I will never trade those moments for a million dollars nor to never experience life being brought out of undying love for each other and through all these years the encouragement that we gave each other and the love we doted on each other is just bliss exhilaration at this point.

Addison Iliana Melton has graced us in ways that words can never express. It's just the gushy mushy feeling you get inside, like butterflies hitting your belly or the first day of school, or the minute before you enter the threshold as the music is played and your father places your hand in the crock of his arm and ushers you into the church to meet your husband. It is life and the memories that are created that makes every day worth living and remembering for years to come. And as her name means daughter of Adam & God has answered, we are pleased that He selected us to have her grace our lives and soften our hearts beyond recognition.

Baby Shower Pictures

Baby Shower Location

I can't thank Karen Wright enough who made this place accessible to us. She is infamous for one of the guru's of Creative Memories, which is how we met her (my mother-in-law and myself). The funny story is that this is the exact church Dale went to as a child and one day as we were talking this big world all of a sudden seemed small as Louise began to reminisce the past when she attended this church. Karen graciously opened her doors, church doors that is, and catered our event. We have much to be thankful as she's been a part of our lives through the years and got to bless us with this wonderful event.