First time with Uncle Joe & Auntie Tina

Today is Monday, April 21st and mommy has to meet a client out by Uncle Joe & Auntie Tina's(our favorite aunt), neck of the woods. They have done such a huge favor by watching you as you are only 12 weeks old and all that comes with it. But when you talk to your Aunt, it's as if we have done a huge favor for her by letting you have special alone time with her and all your cousins who love you so much.

I can't even express how amazing it is to see you loved so much by this side of the family. I don't even step in their way if they want to hold you, feed you, change you, talk to you or express any sort of love. I sit in the corner talking to everyone, but watching as if I'm looking from the outside of the window as your auntie dotes on you with all sorts of different expressions of love. And I'm touched when I see your Uncle Joe, bend over and kiss you softly on your forehead as you are held by your aunt and Alyssa is begging to hold you longer. And then Zander offers to feed you and I'm touched that a 10 year old boy full of life and lots of energy would stop to have a special moment with you. Then there's Daisy, your oldest cousin who comes in from a busy day of school and wherever her dad picked her up from, stops to give you so much of her precious time. She talks to you and tells you the silliest joke ever...something about two snowmen and carrots on their nose and smelling something. I laugh because your cousin talks to you like she's talking to her girlfriend that's her age as we explain that babies need to hear Disneyland sounding voices to make them feel all warm and cozy. But the cutest thing out of that conversation you two have is that you are mesmerized by her. You just gaze at her with those adoring eyes as she showers you with compliments that mother's lock up in her heart. I wish I could write about the two hours they spent with you while I was gone.

My favorite part was when your cousin Alyssa wanted to feed you, hold you and not give you up to her mommy to help ease the gas from your belly. She lifted you up almost giving you up to her and then she quickly recoiled and brought you close to her chest as she bent her face down close to your face and said she just didn't want to let you go. She finally did give you to your Auntie and then your little burst of fussiness was quickly changed to a calm lulling and heavy eyes as she prepared you for the long ride home.

Blissful tastes of heaven is what I call being a mother. I thought I was in heaven when I had your cousins over and so heavy was my heart each time they left me in my quiet house. They were the joy and noise that filled my house with laughter. And now I have you to hear your giggles and noise fill up my house. I am blessed to be both Auntie and mommy.

I found my hand

It's Friday, April 18th, and Addie has found her fist. We heard tons of slurping going on in her car seat and found her with an entire fist inside her mouth. She has officially found pleasure beyond her pacifier and has also found that she has the coordination to bring her hand to her mouth on purpose.

Smiles from Heaven

I can't believe she's finally in Newborn clothes and with that comes a blossoming personality. She follows us around the house with her eyes, she wants her alone time on the floor to explore her fingers and toes, she wants to hold hands when she eats, her stare is studying everything you do and say, but the thing that intrigues me the most is her smile. The smile that starts in her eyes and wiggles it's way down to the corner of her mouth and ends with arms and legs flying all over the place. It's the beginning of a coo that merges into an almost giggle that grabs my heart and tugs in all those places of your being that you had no idea that it existed. I am moved by those moments I have with her as we talk (mostly me) and she responds with those gum filled smiles that light up my room and my heart. She gives me glimpses of heaven with those smiles and I am content at what He has graced me with.

Dreaded Shots

I'm not that emotional of a person, but when it was time to give Addie her shots for her 2 month check up...I was a train wreck! I was not prepared for the flood of emotions to hit as they did and for Niagara Falls to hit Brea's clinic. When she pulled out the needles that are longer than the widest part of her leg, pulled the alcohol wipes out, and had 3 band aides waiting for their job to be fulfilled the beat of my heart began to escalate. I told Dale that he was going to handle this one and he was stoic as he held her little hands and talked to her as the nurse placed the first shot on her little bitty thigh. Addie reacted instantly turning bright red like the tomatoes they sell on the vine, screaming with mouth gaping wide open and no sound coming out because her little breath had been taken away from her, and eyes closed tight as you could see her little eye lashes fill with the tears before the ran down her checks. And me watching and feeling lead in my feet, sweat in my hands, and that feeling of nausea that takes over you and finally the explosion of tears running down my face while I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with me.

Every mother has to endure her child getting vaccinated, every mother hurts for her child but why am I so emotional and hurt for her and then it clicks how God must ache for us when we go through such things that hurt for a second when he knows how wonderful our reward is waiting for us. And then my focus is that in a moment my darling will be in my arms as I dote on her and reassure her that mommy is here to wipe the tears from her eyes and whisper softly in her ear that everything will be all right. It was just a moment of pain and now I will shower her with love.